my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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