i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
