I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
