Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
