I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
