Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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