until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
