Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
