dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
