if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
