Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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