Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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