You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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