We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
