I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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