I wish I could punch you in the face.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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