I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How naked do you want me to be?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
