Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What a dumb baby whore.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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