He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
