I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
