Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize