why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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