I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize