I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she looked like the before picture.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
