I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
