"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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