That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
