He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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