the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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