Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How does it feel to date your dad?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
