Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
