yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
