Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
