i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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