Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
