Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
