My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
