I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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