okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My dick has a subreddit
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
