K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
