I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
too bad you live with your parents still
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
