Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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