i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
