and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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