I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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