just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
