Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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