Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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