I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
