You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
