kristin has been a bad kristin
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My vagina just recognized that song.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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