So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
