Sponge bath it is.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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