It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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