yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im holly from the hills drunk
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
