I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
