I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
