Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
