He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
