ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
