I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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