I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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