dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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