Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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