He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
